


Unfaithful

by tartshapedbox (orphan_account)



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Cheating, Domestic Avengers, Infidelity, M/M, lots of language but who cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 05:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/tartshapedbox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony knows that Steve knows, and, after coming home late for the third time this week, they address it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfaithful

Tony walked through the front door and into Steve’s house, praying to whatever’s up there that Steve had already gone to bed. That’d be the best thing for both of them. Tony didn’t know how he could bear to look into Steve’s eyes after what he’d just done… again.

Tony knew that Steve knew about it; he could tell by the way he’d been treating him the past few weeks. Steve knew everything: the reason Tony had been coming home late from work, the fact that his last business trip hadn’t been all business, why he suddenly smelled like another man’s cologne. The only thing Tony couldn’t figure out was why Steve stuck around. Steve could have anyone, but he chose to stay with Tony, even when he knew he was being unfaithful. Tony just didn’t understand. He wouldn’t have stayed with him. He wasn’t sure how he would react if he ever found out that Steve had been seeing someone else, but he could tell you one thing: he would not stay with him. Probably.

Tony stumbled through the darkened kitchen in the general direction of the liquor cabinet. He’d promised Steve he would curb his drinking, but he’d also made other, bigger promises, each and every one he’d broken. Anyway, sleeping on the couch was impossible. Going to the bedroom wasn’t an option. Hewasn’t going to sleep either way, so he decided he’d have a drink or two. Steve would never know.

Tony was wondering what exactly was going to kill him (the alcohol, the insomnia, or the guilt? Hell, Steve might even kill him if this kept up.) as he neared the cabinet filled with wine and spirits from the best years. He shook his head to clear his previous thought. Steve couldn’t kill him even if Tony asked him to. Steve was too pure.

Tony grasped for the brass handle on the door of the cabinet, and instead of cold, dead metal, he found hot, hard flesh. Steve, Tony thought. He sighed inaudibly. Of course Steve would wait up.

Mouth on autopilot, Tony said, “Hey, Soldier. Whatcha doin’ up?” Tony reached hard for nonchalance, but fell short.

Steve stood in silence, and Tony felt his disappointment in his very core. It penetrated the air with the bluntness of an unsharpened knife. Tony felt the bile (or guilt?) that had been creeping its way into his throat lately. It was an unusual feeling, and Tony wasn’t sure how to deal with it. For some reason, adultery wasn’t an indiscretion that could be washed away with a bottle of whiskey. It stayed lodged in the back of his throat, threatening to choke him if he dared try to justify it.

Tony tested the water, leaning forward into Steve’s chiseled chest, running his hands over the thinly clothed muscle and pressing his ear to the barely detectable heartbeat of this utterly innocent man, a man Tony didn’t deserve.

Steve just pushed Tony back onto his feet, and, night vision kicking in, Tony finally saw the thorough sadness that plastered his face.

Tony swallowed. This wasn’t something he could fix, and he hated things that he couldn’t fix. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

That was Tony’s way of saying, “Please don’t go.”

Steve’s jaw dropped momentarily, and he looked indignantly at Tony, but he quickly regained his composure. “No, Tony. I’m not.” He wasn’t meeting Tony’s eyes as he sighed and said, “I don’t know if you want me to or not, but if you do, you’ll have to get over it.” He dropped his crossed arms and banged a fist on the oak door behind him, grimacing at the physical and emotional pain. “I don’t know what the hell you want from me. I don’t know why I am staying, but I know I’m not going anywhere.” He sighed again, and Tony saw a single tear slip down his face. “I love you, and there’s nothing I can do about that. Believe me,I’ve tried. But it’s not going to change.”

Tony stared wide-eyed at the yellow-haired man in front of him. He’d heard a similar spill from Pepper once, but this… This was ten times worse. Pepper hadn’t assumed that Tony wanted her to leave. How could Steve even think that? “Steve…”

Steve cut him off. “Please don’t start off with ‘Steve.’ Then I know you’re trying to avoid being honest with me. Try again.”

Tony suppressed a chuckle. Steve fuckin’ Rogers knew him so well. “Okay. Let me make one thing clear: I do not want you to leave me. I know that it’s not obvious right now, but I… I couldn’t… I couldn’t even function without you around. You know that. I mean, where would I be right now if you hadn’t made me quit drinking?” Tony tried out his rusty apologetic smile.

Steve just laughed. “Quit? I obviously didn’t make any difference. You were just about to grab a bottle of my whiskey.” Steve was turning green – whether with jealousy or nausea, he didn’t know. It made him sick to think that Tony had started drinking again. It hurt him even more than that night when he’d gone to bring Tony dinner at the office and had found him kissing another man. That pain belonged to Steve, but, for some reason, knowing that Tony was throwing himself away again… It was so much more painful. He couldn’t bear to spend another night trying to nurse Tony back into sobriety.

Tony swallowed. This wasn’t going the way he wanted it to. But really, how had he wanted it to go?

_T_ _ony, I don’t care if you’re fucking that guy on the side. I really don’t mind. Come to bed, babe?_

_No_ , Tony realized. He’d wanted Steve to try to convince him to break it off with his SI affair. He’d wanted Steve to fight for him, but again, Steve was too pure. He’d let Tony go on with whatever he wanted, aside from the drinking. “I wasn’t…” Tony started, but let it go. What Steve wanted now was honesty, and goddamn him if he wouldn’t give it to him. “I’m sorry, Steve. I’m so sorry. I mean it. I’m a sorry piece of shit and I don’t fucking deserve you. And you’re a goddamned idiot if you think you haven’t made a difference in me, alright? You… Fuck. I haven’t had a drink since you asked me to stop. I haven’t even looked at porn since we got together. I’ve gotten twice as much work done, and I said ‘I love you’ and meant it for the first time in my life. You think you don’t make a difference? You go ask Fury. He’ll tell you that you put good ol’ Tony Stark to bed. Then he’ll laugh and ask you if you really haven’t noticed. Go ask Banner. He’ll tell you how much easier it’s been to work with me these past nine months. Go ask…”

Steve cut him off again, this time with a kiss. He crashed his mouth into Tony’s, taking advantage of his surprise by controlling the lip-lock; it was a slow, closed mouth kiss, filled with passion and regret and love and pain. Steve had known when he’d made love to Tony the first time that it would always be like that, tasting Tony’s hurt in every kiss, but he’d also known that it would be worth it, and damn, it was.

Steve pulled away, and Tony stood there, breathless and weak in the knees. “Steve, what…?”

Yet again, Steve cut him off. “It’s alright. Can we just…not talk about it anymore? Have a drink, and we’ll go to bed. I’m tired and I don’t like fighting with you.” Steve was just drained, and he felt empty, like he’d just finished writing a novel and his computer crashed. All he wanted to do was kiss Tony goodnight and cry for a while. He smirked a little and looked at the floor. Every bit of this is worth it.

Tony stared at Steve and felt his heart drop. Even in the low light, he could see the exhausted look on his face, the bags under his eyes, the depressed slump of his shoulders. Tony gasped a little as the thought hit him: I’m killing him. Tony’s brain was thrashing against his skull, all of that guilt and love and regret and sadness fighting its way to the surface. It was a cocktail of emotions that Tony couldn’t cope with. He drew his eyebrows together and ground his teeth as a tear slid down his cheek. “I don’t want a drink,” he said gently, moving closer to Steve and pulling his forehead down flush with his. “I want you, Steve. Only you. I know that ‘sorry’ doesn’t even begin to make up for what I’ve done to you, but I promise – promise – it’s over. I’m yours. All yours. Forever,” he breathed and planted a quick kiss on Steve’s full lips. Tony felt Steve’s entire body relax, saw the relief in his blue eyes.

“Tony, you don’t have to…” Steve began.

It was Tony’s turn to cut Steve off. “Yes. I do. I’m taking the rest of the week off. Where do you want to go? Paris? Italy? London? I can even do Beijing. I know you’ve wanted to see it…”

Steve pressed a finger to Tony’s lips. “How about our bed? I wasn’t kidding when I said I was tired.” Steve flashed him his ‘Sunshine’ smile, though a little weaker than usual, and kissed him softly as Tony let out the breath he’d been holding. He pulled back and thought for a moment. “However, do you really want to make it up to me?”

Tony looked at Steve with the utmost disbelief. This man could recover from anything. He could forgiveanything. Tony knew he still didn’t deserve him, but from now on, he’d try his best to change that. He wanted to be better. For Steve. Always.

“Anything you want,” Tony breathed, taking in the familiar scent of Steve’s Old Spice aftershave. He meant it. There was nothing he could do to make up for the shit he’d put Steve through, but damn him if he wasn’t going to try.

Steve’s eyes sparkled as he looked into Tony’s. “Let me draw you?”

Tony’s heart swelled. Steve liked the simplest things. “That depends. Are we talking nude or…?” Tony grinned.

Steve didn’t laugh. He just brought his hand up to caress the rough skin of Tony’s cheek. “No. Just your face. My favorite thing in the world.”


End file.
